Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Only until you age out.
Sorry to say it, but you're a temporary New Yorker. Sure, this city is awesome for running around and enjoying your youth, but you came here to work and play hard and plan on jetting at the first signs of crow's feet or when your parents stop financing that party lifestyle of yours. Plus, if you ever decide to settle down and have kids, there's no way you're bringing them up in a studio.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Arlen Spector's made it official...he's going to run as a Democrat in 2010! While this has a lot of us in a tizzy of excitement, we've got to take a deep breath here. Even though he will be running as a Dem, he doesn't necessarily support the progressive agenda in its entirety. He's already made it clear that he's upholding his stance on the Employee Free Choice Act (unfortunate for those of us who favor Unions), but at least he's progressive in his views on the environment and abortion.I mean I do wonder why he didn't decide to run as an Independent, but as they say - strength in numbers...
Monday, April 27, 2009
So Long, Pardner,"
Dear Red States:
We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.
Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico
Friday, April 24, 2009
I'm excited to see how things progress with the Gavin Newsom for Governor campaign, I love all he's done to push for gay rights, and clean-up the city of SF, but lately he's looking a little... off?Who knows, what's going on, but Newsom's looking a lot less like Bateman (Christian Bale) from American Psycho, and more and more like the sneaky (but kind hearted) butler from Mr. Deeds (John Turturro). I'm clearly all for a Democratic Governor, but this kind of freaked me out...